the · haps · and · mishaps

Friday
- 7:30: Comedy Show with Pogooo! The comics weren't THAT funny, but there were some great moments. The drinking was accelerated due to the show though because oh man, they should not have given a drunk German heckler a microphone. My friend Evan hosted it and it was nice to see him, he is quite a funny guy and it was great seeing him doing what he loves. However, I was quite tipsy by the end of the show (9:30) and we were off to the next event!!
- 9:30: Bowling! Jay and Jonathan showed up in Jay's car and we drove to a bowling alley. Jay had challenged me and I decided to expand the party (I think it was out of uncertainty about what this challenge was really about...flirt? or competitive? hmm). Anyway, it worked out because Jay and Pogo were neck and neck the whole time and Jonathan and I just really sucked hahaha.. TO BE FAIR THOUGH, I would have played a lot better had I not been tipsy. YES, I am pulling that card because I've seen myself bowl better before!! I was really happy about the driving though, because we listened to ONLY COLDPLAY, and I am always criticized for liking Coldplay and everyone was singing the words and it was a great time.
- Midnight: GOLDEN GRIDDLE OM NOM NOM! There's nothing better than midnight breakfast. Enough said.
- Left Jay, Jonathan and Pogo to meet up with Nathan and go to Alphabot's show at Holy Joes/Reverb. Great energy that set. Interestingly enough! Evan showed up at the same show!! Saw a few people from OCAD, danced and sung and had loads of fun. Nathan told me found it weird or awkward...I can't remember which but I don't know why. Maybe because people were coming up to me to chat? *shrug* Anyway, I lost one of my favourite earrings and that makes me really sad. They were my vibrant blue ones that match my eyes :( on the plus side, I have the matching necklace around somewhere so I'll just make a new pair or something. ^___^

- After we walked all the gear back to Aarons and hung out a bit, but man I was exhausted so I was looking to pass out somewhere, ANYWHERE. Got back to Nathan's and I felt like a rag doll! Sleepy tiemz.

Saturday
- It took me aaaages to wake up on Saturday. It probably has something to do with the nonsleeping due to all the noise Friday night!!! Went to the candy store, bought Sonya and Rachel birthday gifts! Then got the train back to Oakville!
- Came home and quickly changed into a grass skirt and lei's and everything and headed over to Sonya's for her birthday murder mystery party. Everyone was there except for the people I'd rather avoid, so it was awesome!!! Rachel showed up later and we all had fun drinking and such. I did drink a bit more than Friday too... On the plus side, Rachel and Sonya have edible dick necklaces and apparently they taste greaaaat!

Sunday
- ZOOOOOOOOO!!!!
- We were supposed to leave at 10:30am but we ended up leaving around 2pm. No biggie though cause we stayed t'il close and it was such a great day weather wise! I took my camera for the first time in months! I missed my camera so much! I never take it anywhere anymore. I took like 200 pictures and they are greaaat.
- Came back around 8/9 and went swimming at dezzy's! Nathan wanted to hang out after but I told him I was busy and that I wanted to sleep. I think that was a good decision. I need to keep some distance while I think about what I'm doing, saying, thinking...

Anywho, so I'm tired and I have work that I have to be up for in 4 hours. Yay! Goodnight!!!

I've stated this over and over. I don't agree entirely with this. In fact, I have a lot of worries about him thinking this way. He's trying to change for me. To become what I asked for however long. I didn't ask him to change, I asked him to reevaluate his creativity, to care, or at least show some response; in turn, I would also do the same. But it never happened. I'm not worried about falling into a comfortable situation, because I know what I know. I never wanted him to change. He seems to think that he needs to change in order to be these things that I need. So far, I haven't been able to figure out if he is what I need or what I needed. I needed him so long ago, and only now he is going to change? He mentioned that he's going to go to Thailand and not come back for a while. He could leave in September, in January, or maybe next summer and get more money for it. He's hinting to me that I could change his plans, or when he goes. I don't need that. I don't think that's a fair thing to tell me -of all people- because a. I will end up telling someone when he disappears due to how upset I would be, and b. I grow very attached to people, and when friends/more leave I almost treat it like its a death or that its my fault. In this situation, I would weigh a lot of it on being my fault. I'm starting to see that I can no longer be friends with him in this state. For christs sake, he's trying to change himself. I would never ask that from someone, and if I did, I would never expect them to do it! Then again, what do I know? I wanted to change. I didn't even need to either. Ugh, I don't know what's going on. I feel like I don't know where I'm going with him. If he changes, can I bring all these feelings back? Can I ignore the hurt that I went through and just start fresh? I've encouraged him already. But not because I needed a guy near, I thought that maybe I actually could bring the feelings back. *le sigh* What am I going to do? I know what I'm not going to do, so that at least keeps me level headed...

What am I still up at 4:20am for? I feel like I'm waiting for you to come online. I know you won't. I've been hiccuping for almost an hour now. I should got to bed. Nice day tomorrow, take in some sun, paint, volleyball, photograph my dad's guitars for insurance, blahhhh day. Visit ME!!!!! SOMEBODYYYY

Lay off my fucking back about my facebook/twitter updates. Yes, they're related to my thoughts, but that doesn't mean that you suddenly know me or what I'm thinking about just because you are exposed to them. Its stuff like this that makes me want to close my account. I shouldn't want to feel that way about my expression. Just because you think I'm thinking about something 'deep' doesn't mean that I am, and just because he posts on my wall does not make you any more accurate either. GOD. Like fuck off. Seriously.

Anytime where I am not a complete fucking stupid slacking idiot would be great. Honestly. How can I just be fucking comfortable with not trying? I knew I was slipping. I knew there was a risk going to the exam without the final essay. Wow Charlotte, nice job, waste another $500 on a class why don't you. Can we just point out the fact that everything sucks? And now apparently there is some 'trust issue that has appeared out of left field' WHATEVER THAT MEANS. You cannot throw some tidbit in my direction about some issue that has come up recently and not tell me what it is about. It is worse than a trailer. I don't even get all that excited for trailers anymore. TOO MANY PEOPLE BRING UP THINGS AND DECIDE TO 'keep the peace'. I think, they are all DUMB for doing this. Pet peeve; the unknown with a hint of something big in the future, or small even, ANY HINT WILL DO. Basically, life is peeving me always. I am so fed up with people dragging me on for 3 hours about how they can't tell me shit when they have invited me into being interested in it as far as you can possibly go until it appears you have lost complete sanity. I am sick of hours spent bashing my face on my keyboard from the frustrating longevity of finding answers. Why can't they just suck it up and get it out? Do I STUTTER? Am I incompetent? GET. IT. THEFUCK. OUT.

Current Mood:

frustrated

tra la la la laaaaa

la la loooo la la laaa lee laaaaa

loooo

Current Mood:

bouncy

I just know that I would treat you better than you have ever known, and more.. however, you're dealing with a hopeless romantic who's been on a few years hiatus...

/Crying to parents because I am jobless and need more money to complete certain projects.

/Stomach problems coupled with cramps are so not helping

/Not even close to being on top of any projects.

Current Mood:	pessimistic
Current Music:	the fan in the kitchen

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

- -Changed hair colors?-
3 times at least

-Discovered a new talent?
yeaaaaa

-Got ditched.
many a time

-Met someone you can't live without?
I try not to be dependent on others...however there is room for 'someone'

- -SCHOOL- -

-Was this year the best year so far?
its alright, it gets better and better as I go here though, its naaaice

-Made a lot of friends?
yes

-Fail a class?
hahah yea

-Hate a teacher?
greeeeg damerrryyyy

-Get in any fights?
some big, some small

-Fist fight?
nah, only with Jake, and that's like fighting with sticks, get it? cause he's like...a stick insect??!?

- -FRIENDS- -

-Gain any new friends?
yes

-Lost any friends?
its kind of looking that way

-Get in a fight with a friend?
not that I can remember

-Gone to a movie with a friend?
yes

- -PERSONAL- -

-Lost a family member?
hm, no

Get any taller?
I think my physical growing days are over

-Know someone that graduated from high school?
um...yea?

-Cut your hair?
yes

-Hug more than 3 different people?
I don't know how you can go a year without becoming in contact with less than 3...

-Tell someone you love them and mean it?
no...

-Went to a fair?
ooooh I went to a craft fair earlier this year! I want to go again!

-Dated/"talked to" someone you wish you hadn't?
Is 'talked to' supposed to imply that you slept with them and you wish you hadn't? because if so, yes.

Hate someone of the opposite sex?
hate is a strong word. I'd rather just ignore their existence

-Hated someone of the same sex?
again, I am just aggravated by some peoples' presences

-Saw a kiddie movie at the theaters?
probably not

-Spent most of your year watching tv?
not even...I just youtube everything now

-Read a book?
mhmm!

-Sat through something boring?
yessss

- REGRET SOMETHING YOU DID?
a couple things but you move on

Do you hate when people smoke around you?
depends if their blowing the smoke in my eyes or not haha

Who was the last girl you talked to?
hm Lindsay

Who was the last guy you talked to?
Alexi

What was on your mind most today?
Getting my film done so I can get it processed

Do you talk about your feelings or hide them?
I really try to hide them but recently I've been getting them out there or at least trying

what can you resolve by talking something out?
concepts for my art pieces

Are you missing someone?
yes, the more I see him the more I miss him when he's not there

Most important things you would always want in a relationship?
 honesty, tenderness, they must have a complete tolerance to retarded behavior lol

Are you happy right now?
yes

Is something bothering you?
yes

Are you gonna do anything about it?
yes

What are you looking forward to in the next few months?
  4 days t'il my birthday!!

What do your friends call you?
char char, charlotta, charlie, char star

Would you prefer a thunderstorm or snow?
thunderstorm...i love them. except when its like coupled with pressure headaches

Are you that good at math?
decent

At what age did you learn to ride a bike?
7/8

Ever dyed your hair?
yes

Do you cry a lot?
last month was cry month

What were you doing before this?
watching superbad, filling up my hot water bottle, sleeping

What did you do today?
filmed.

How many showers have you taken today?
one

Do you drink soda?
sometimes

Can you remember your last dream?
nope..

When was the last time you had butterflies?
hmm before my presentation on monday

Do you have a job?
no hah

What were you doing at midnight last night?
I'd just gotten home and I was ordering chinese food

Plans for the weekend?
homework :P

Has anyone ever told you that you have pretty eyes?
yes actually

Do you ever keep arguing when you know you're wrong?
haha I try but I fizzle out and make less and less sense

Get asked anything ridiculous lately?
a couple of days ago yea

What are you wearing right now?
black stretch pants, 3 sweaters and sock booties!!

How is your hair?
curllyyyy

Do you like your first name?
yes

Do you like to cuddle?
I didn't use to

What are your initials?
CAH

How do you feel about chocolate covered strawberries?
yes

Do you like the color gray?
yea

Look outside, how's the weather?
snooow

Are you jealous of anyone right now?
nah

Last time you ate grilled cheese?
last week

Name something great that happened today?
Etaaan

What drugs are you on?
motrin super strength!

What do you hear right now?
upstairs someone is playing rock band or listening to music with that song "baby baby baby, can't you see, sometimes your eyes just hypnotize me" song

Who was the last person's voice you heard?
uh..ann's?

Who was the last person to piss you off?
its was more my production crew when they decided to leave before my shoot was done

Have you ever seen somebody get hit by a car?
yes

Who do you tell everything to?
people I trust

Have you ever taken a picture in a bathroom?
yes

Does your head hurt?
SO MUCH RIGHT NOW

Favorite number?
27

When was the last time you saw your Father?
last...saturday

Do you fight with your parents often?
nah maybe...

What did you accomplish today?
filming stuffs

What were you doing 30 minutes ago?
filling up my hot water bottle

Do you like your life as of now?
yessss

How's your heart lately?
Zing! went the strings of my heaaart *sings*

Current Mood:

sick

Other news....I will be getting my ultrasound results back soon, and hopefully they can tell me whats wrong and even more hopefully nothing THAT serious is wrong!

Other other news. I never appreciated Elliott Smith because I thought he whined too much. Then I found out an artist I like (Chris Garneau) did a cover of his 'Between the Bars' and started to have some 'respek'. I love the piano.